


The Dad Joke

by AstroGirl



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, parental relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 14:36:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13719762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstroGirl/pseuds/AstroGirl
Summary: Sans is nobody's dad.  What an utterly ridiculous thought.  Right?





	The Dad Joke

**Author's Note:**

> I've written some angsty stuff for these two, so I figured it was time for some pure post-pacifist fluff.
> 
> This was written for Gen Prompt Bingo, for the prompt, "I am your father/mother."

It starts out as a joke. Which perhaps shouldn't be too surprising. A lot of important things in Sans' life have started that way. His relationship with Toriel started as a joke – or, at least, _with_ a joke – and look where they are now.

They're standing in her living room, hand in hand, trying to explain it to her kid. That's where they are.

Sans fidgets a little, finding it uncharacteristically difficult to project his usual laid-back attitude, and is instantly reassured by a strong squeeze from the solid, furry paw clasped around his bony fingers. He stills and tries to settle into his relaxed default grin.

"so, yeah, that's how it is. you, uh... you okay with that, kid?"

Frisk nods, several times. They look both solemn and enthusiastic at the same time, and he's never going to understand how they manage that trick, but he's kind of grateful for it.

Toriel beams. "I am so glad, my child! I love you both very much." She squeezes his hand again and gives him that besotted look that, against all probability and reason, he is actually starting to get used to.

The kid rolls their eyes dramatically at this display, but they're smiling broadly, so he can tell they don't really mean it. Whaddaya know. This might just work out.

"you got any questions you want to ask about all this, kiddo?"

Frisk's expression goes thoughtful for a moment, as they look him up and down. He finds himself wanting to fidget again, but suppresses the urge.

"Yeah," says the kid, their voice as serious as their expression. "Do I have to call you Dad?"

He blinks at them for a moment. They blink back.

Then Frisk bursts out laughing, and a second later, he starts laughing, too, laughs until he's half bent over with the impact of it, a mixture of appreciation for how good the kid just got him and an odd, hilarious feeling of relief.

Because, seriously, how weird would _that_ be? They're family of a kind, sure. Already were. But _dad_? Lazy, goofy, ridiculous Sans, someone's _dad_? That in itself would be a good joke, really, but how bizarre would it be for him to be _this_ kid's dad? The savior of monsterkind and... And the guy they first met because he crept up on them in the woods with a whoopee cushion in his hand? The guy who hid in his room and listened through the wall while they went on a "date" with his brother? The guy who might just possibly, if not for a fortunate promise, have thought it was his job to kill them? 

You have to laugh at something like that. You just _have_ to.

**

After that, it's kind of a running gag between them. It starts the day after his wedding, when he comes down to breakfast.

"Morning, _Dad_ ," the kid says, the word dripping with amused, affectionate irony. 

He reaches up to floofle their hair. Has to reach up, now: they've grown in the last year and he hasn't, at least not physically. "mornin', lil squirt," he says, and they smile at each other, understanding each other's silliness perfectly.

After that, the kid breaks out the nickname when they want to be sarcastic: "Gee, thanks, _Dad_." They use it when they're trying, half-seriously, to wheedle him into giving up the last doughnut or taking them on a shortcut to school. "Aww, but _Daaaaaaad_!" They use it sometimes when he makes a particularly bad – or, as he considers it, particularly _good_ – pun. "DAAAAAD! Stop!" It never fails to make both of them laugh at the absurdity.

It confuses his brother a little, which maybe just makes it funnier. And Tori... Well, Tori shakes her head, and even though she's smiling, he wonders sometimes if maybe she wishes they took it a little bit more seriously. But he's pretty sure she understands the teasing is a good thing. It means they're buds. Even if he is the one who makes the kid do their homework, or enforces their mother's bedtime rules.

**

And then there's the ladder incident.

He's deep in a nap, enjoying a dream about eating burgers in the sunshine, when the sound of his name filters through. It seems at first to be coming from his dream of the sun, but as he blinks his eye sockets open, he can hear it more clearly, from somewhere outside the living room window. 

It's Frisk, their voice desperate and hoarse. "Sans! Sans, help me! Help!" And then, pleading and afraid: " _Dad!_ "

He's off the couch and outside the house before his mind has even processed what's going on. And there's the kid, dangling by their fingers from the overhang of the roof, Christmas lights half-strung above them, ladder uselessly fallen on the ground below them.

He surrounds the kid with magic, lowers them gently down. "'sokay Frisk, I got ya. i got ya, kiddo. i'm here."

They clutch him into a grateful hug. He rests his hands on their shoulders. "geez, kid, didn't we tell you to wait for help with the lights?"

Probably he ought to give them more of a lecture than that. Toriel certainly would. But Frisk just hugs him tighter, and he can't bring himself to do it. So instead he hugs them back and says, "sorry you had a _roof_ time there, buddy. you scared the guts out of me!" They both laugh, as much in relief as at the jokes.

Neither of them says anything about what the kid yelled out to him. Sans isn't entirely sure he didn't dream it, anyway.

**

After that, though, sometimes, just sometimes, he isn't quite sure he can still hear the scare quotes when the kid says, "Thanks, Dad," or "Oh, come on, Dad," or "Dad, I love you, but you are _a giant dork_."

And then sometimes, just sometimes, he's certain he can't hear them at all.

Well, the joke's on him, he supposes. Turns out, that isn't the least bit funny or weird, after all.


End file.
